Snake's Canned Christmas
by ShikiDixi
Summary: For Smash King24's contest! Snake thinks he's been to bad this year so he decides to go help Santa. Randomness and slight humor.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Christmas, SSB, or Santa.**

**This is for Smash King24's contest, thank you to all who read this!**

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Snake's Canned Christmas

It was a typical Christmas in the Smash Universe. Everyone all bright, cheery, and excited for Santa's arrival. All except one smasher, that would be our lovely subject Snake. He just recently ran out of boxes in his seemingly endless supply, and was sure he'd done too many bad things this year to get more from this so called Santa guy.

He would've just gone out and bought some more, had he not just lost all of his smash coins to Red and his dumb luck at poker. So, Snake simply sat there in front of the mansion, wishing for a box to keep him warm from this bitter cold.

Some might wonder why he didn't just go inside; well internally he didn't want to see all the happy faces of others who knew they were getting what they wanted. That's when a bright idea came to Snake.

What if he went to the North Pole and helped Santa! For sure Santa would give Snake a box for helping out! So he instantly rushed through the mansion to his dorm where his gear, as always, waited. He only picked out his flying device though, the Cypher.

He recently upgraded this version of it to fly longer distances. A smug smile spread across his rugged face. He was flying to the Arctic!

***

(Snake's POV)

I had to stop at least five times before I finally reached my destination, but at last when I reached a strange excitement came over me. I nearly started jumping up and down like one of the kid smashers, but I suppressed that feeling and civilly walked into the large and colorful building in front of me.

When I got indoors I started getting fidgety, for it seemed weird being allowed in to such a 'secret' place without being assaulted. Then I realized there was something even stranger. There was no activity throughout the supposed workshop.

I looked around a lot and even called out a few times, but no one ever answered. I walked back out the front door thinking obviously Santa didn't actually exist when I saw a note roll across the icy landscape in front of me. I picked it up and read:

_To whoever gets this,_

_I'm one of Santa's elves, Chad, and we wished to notify our 'customers' that we have moved to the South Pole because it is warmer there. Please notify anyone who believes in Santa that we have moved._

_Thank you from,_

_Chad_

I groaned as I realized I would have to travel to the other side of the world to help. I was starting to think this was a bad idea when I remembered my boxes. The thought of my isolated hiding spot was the only thing that urged me to go.

***

I'm pretty sure it's been over 24 hours by now. Well at least it's only December 24th today. I walked tiredly, even though I recently had a cappuccino in Australia, towards yet another bright and cheery building. I attempted to open the door but a little dude, who I guessed was an elf, in a formal black cop suit stopped me.

"No humans allowed, except for Santa, Mrs. Clause, and the postman," He said while holding up his hand.

"Oh yeah and what're you going to do to stop me, little man?" I replied with a sharp tone.

"This," he said flicking his fingers.

Suddenly Link came out the door and said, "What's up, Hammy?"

"We have a little, or more of, a big problem here," Hammy said while pointing at me.

I just stood there, my right eye twitching, at the scene, "I thought you said humans weren't allowed!"

"I'm a Hylian, Snake!" Link exclaimed while 'unsheathing' the Master Sword. Wait, not the Master Sword, but a stuffed bunny.

I fell over laughing at the stupid little weapon. What I didn't realize was Link was apparently programming it to do something. It instantly leapt out of his arms, grew claws, and pounced on me.

I started screaming as it proceeded to rip me to little shreds. I threw it off of me and quickly blurted, "WAAAAAAIT!"

Everything stopped and looked at me. All was silent except the blowing wind, and a couple of tumble weeds.

"I came… to help… Santa," I stated huffing.

"Ohh, well in that case, come on in!" Link said escorting me into the building, leaving the rabbit outside.

I stared in awe at all the machines, activity, and colors in the workshop. I stood still for so long that Link was forced to come up behind me and push me onward while saying, "Come _on_ dude, let's go!"

After a lot of pushing, shoving, and pulling Link and I got to Santa's HQ.

"Oh, ho ho ho who do we have here?" Santa asked me, as I looked around bewildered.

"He's here to help us Santa!" Link stated.

"Um… err… yeah," I said oddly.

"Well than if you want to help come back next year!" Santa said happily.

I fell over as I realized that I screwed up on my dates and it was actually already the 25th. I got up again and said, "Well actually I was only going to help because I thought I wasn't going to have any presents…"

"Well if you wanted boxes than you aren't getting any," Santa replied coolly.

I fell over again while Link watched in silence, "Wha- what do you mean!"

"I mean all of our boxes were used on presents this year," Santa replied sadly.

"Why can't you get more?" I asked stupidly, while Link face palmed and sighed.

"Well we do have something else you might like," Santa said, completely ignoring my first question.

"Really!" I squealed, while jumping to my feet.

"Link will you bring it in," Santa asked.

"Of course sir!" Link said while bowing out the door.

After waiting a couple of minutes Link came back in with an armful of… CANS!?!?

"Thank you, Link!" Santa said.

Link handed the cans to me and quickly left the room again.

My eyes started watering with tears of joy, "Thank you so much Santa!"

"You are very welcome Snake. Now I think it's best if you return home with Link!" He said with a jolly wave.

I bowed like Link and gave another thank you, then met Link outside the door.

We hopped onto the sleigh, which I filled with my cans, and then we took off back to Smash Mansion.

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**Thanks to all who read this! I hope you have as merry of a Christmas as Snake did! I hope you will review!**


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